Daily Report 2010/01/18, 19 and 20

The 18th wasn’t a great day for me on “Frank Light” . . . I ate all kinds of stuff I shouldn’t . . . even pizza for heaven’s sake.  I was just kind of out of control, for no obvious reason which sort of got me to really thinking about my commitment here, what I am trying to accomplish and where I am with all of that:

Yes, I still want to lower my “Earth Gravitational Index” . . . a lot . . . to someplace under 200 pounds eventually.

Yes, I have some interest . . . I wouldn’t call it a “craving” . . . in some less than optimal foods . . . particularly pizza and enchiladas.  However, that “need”, while present and persistent it isn’t such a strong presence that I cannot deal with it and continue to stay on program . . . but I do need to stay watchful and present with this process.

Yes, over the holidays while I was “VERY GOOD” relative to what it could have been . . . I did often eat some foods that don’t support my body the way I want . . . and I got used to that . . . I liked it.

Bottom line . . . time to hunker down and stay on track . . .

Also, I am a little discouraged that my weight hasn’t changed in some time now.

However, I am healthier than I have been in a long time.  I am eating good nutritious food that supports my body (not my pallet).  If I had eaten this way the whole time since childhood I would be much healthier than I am now.

Additionally, exercise is doing well.  As I have discussed in the blog before, I have a tendency to slowly increase expectations  on what I am doing and not give myself credit for the great things I am doing.  Exercise is a indicator of that.  I’ve been a little disappointed in my goals recently, I have not reached new levels of performance as fast I as I would like.  The funny thing about that though is that the “increase” in one case is to go from a “personal lifetime best” . . . to a higher “personal lifetime best” . . . it isn’t like I am slacking off.  In another case, I recently got kind of down and negative on myself for not doing as much cardio as I felt I “should”.  Yet, this “slacked off” amount is over twice where I started 6 months ago and at a higher performance level.  So once again, I’m getting negative with myself for doing 2 to 3 times more than I could struggle with at all when this all began.

In short, I AM DOING GREAT . . . it is just that that little critical monster inside of me won’t recognize and celebrate that.  He is too busy being a negative little shit.

I continue to be my own most difficult adversary in this journey.

Anyway . . . summary for the last few days:

The 18th . . . off program.

The 19th . . . on program, with exercise at 24 Hour Fitness – 242.7

The 20th . . . on program, better attitude and picking up the peices again to keep going.

God’s love and light to all who read this.

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