Archive for the ‘Thoughts, Ideas, Rants’ Category


September 21, 2010

As I was exercising tonight and thinking about this blog and what I would post tonight, I started thinking about the reasons I have kind of stayed the same.  I started looking for the reasons and what changes I needed to make so that I could start loosing again in the way I would like to.

The funny thing is, I already know what all the reason are and I’m not doing them:

  1. CKT – I am pretty sure a lot of the weight I hold is from judgments, particularly self judgments.  CKT offers a framework for dealing with these self judgments and releasing them.  Yet I so far have done CKT only rarely and certainly not as often as I had said here I will do.  In fact, I’m not even sure what that commitment is in this moment . . . I’ll need to go look it up.
  2. Even though I publicly announced at a DSS class a goal of 220 by Living In Grace, I have yet to change anything in this web site to reflect that commitment.  On one level I’ve committed, but on other levels I have not.
  3. I have gotten a “little loose” in my eating per FFL . . . not terrible, but some mixtures that I shouldn’t have.  At first these were very rare, but in recent times, they have come every day or so.
  4. Additionally, around 2 to 2:30 each work day, I get the munchies.  I have not been very selective of what I eat then.

I am not saying that there are not new things I could do as well.  However, I really think these things that I already know do to could be key if I would just practice them.

I am going to take a few minute tonight and reorganize the tracking.  In part that is to reflect that the current spreadsheets are getting rather large, but in part that is to “start fresh” to record the new goals.

Exercise: 24 Hour Fitness (237.00)



July 11, 2010

I had this “feeling” I had not blogged recently, still I was surprised it was over two weeks.

The first week was because of a conference I went to.  I was very distracted in a most wonderful way.  Lots of great information and interestingly enough it all supported what I am doing.  Eat lots of fruits and vegetables, get your rest, get your exercise.  They put a lot more information and some fun “exercises” around that of course, but that was the bottom line and certainly supports what I’ve experienced of the last 6 to 9 months.

However, that doesn’t explain the rest of the missed time.  Oddly, while I had a great time at Conference, I find myself since “unbalanced” in some why I cannot explain.  Part of it is simple, I am fighting an ear infection and not physically feeling my best.  Still, beyond that, some part of me is tired of “being good”.  The good news is that I have interest in going back to my old eating habits, but I would like some more variety and tastes than I am currently getting.  I need to do something to support myself long term.

I clearly miss spicy . . . particularly pepper and “hot” . . . I had to figure out how to get those in my salads somehow.

I am doing well on exercise, though with my body dragging it has been more of a chore recently than it normally is.

Send me the Light please . . . I’m processing something and trying to balance . . .


June 30, 2010

So when I went to exercise and found myself at 236.25 . . . I was surprised for a moment.  I had considered myself to be “eating badly” in the last week or so and expected bad news.  Don’t get me wrong, 236 isn’t great news, but it was “about the same” which was good.

On reflecting on that, I realized how much progress I have made.  My “being bad” now is so much more health and I used to eat, that I can maintain reasonable health.  My “bad” now doesn’t include Pizza or Steak and Potatoes, so things ARE improving both physically and health wise for me.

No CKT yet this week . . . I have to get on with that.

Exercise: 24 Hour Fitness (236.25)


June 22, 2010

I was sitting in the last DSS class considering the reasons that I had “come close”, but oh . . . let’s call it how I hold it inside . . . “FAILED” to achieve my goal.

It suddenly occurred to me that once again I had changed the rules on myself.  At the time I set the goal of “230 in June”, there was not official way to weigh myself.  There was not rule about “before exercise” or “after exercise” or anything about how I would be dressed.

All of that was something I had added later.  So once again (I believe I have blogged on this before), I had changed the rules to my disadvantage and then when I came up short, I blamed myself.

How typically Frank.

So . . . with that realization, weighing in after exercise and without half my cloths . . . I made my original commitment.

Nuff said . . .

New goal . . . 220 by Living in Grace.  I haven’t had time to update all the part of this blog to reflect those new goals, but I will soon . . . probably this weekend.


May 27, 2010

I have been eating much closer to FFL than I have been recently . . . but made some changes in my life to reduce stress . . . something seems to be working . . . or some combination of things seems to be working.

I have actually made several changes recently:

  1. I am eating much closer to FFL and cut out even little or occasional “cheats”.  The calorie difference isn’t really significant, but . . .
  2. I have been working a lot heal and strengthen my stomach chakra during SEs.
  3. I’ve stepped up exercise slightly, but again have focused some new exercises on the stomach area to make it stronger physically in addition to the meditation changes mentioned in #2.
  4. I gave up a stressful situation at work . . . no details here, but it was an important change that greatly lowered my stress.  As I mentioned before, this was a change from the “heart” as mentally, at least by some standards, it was the wrong thing to do.

Somewhere in all of that are changes that seem to be very supportive of what I am trying to accomplish!!!

Exercise: 24 Hour Fitness (235.5 Semi-Official Scale)


May 26, 2010

I find it ironic that given all the upset and turmoil in my life right now, my “Earth Gravitational Index” would choose now to start dropping.  It will be interesting to see if the movement is permanent and continues in a down trend.  I only have three weeks left to attain my goal and given I’ve been stuck just 10 pounds from that goal for months . . . my challenge is certainly present.

Perhaps . . . just perhaps . . . the movement in my weight . . . I started acknowledging to both myself and those around me about how upset I was and choose to express my heart instead of my head.

Could that really be how a healthy vibrant body is created?

Exercise: 24 Hour Fitness (237.75)


May 19, 2010

A week come and gone . . . where does time go?

Mostly I’ve been on track . . . some challenges, but eating well and exercising.  (CKT is in sad shape though.)  Unfortunately I’ve been doing well in that “comfort zone” where nothing happens.  My Earth Gravitation Index has been frustratingly consistent for a long time now.

I was watching a recent TED article about social networks.  This guy has mapped the social network or 100 people or so and then placed certain peices of information on that graph by color.  Things like “happy person” blue, “sad person” yellow.   The one that really caught my eye was “fat person” yellow and “slim person” blue . . . the dots very much clustered.  If you are in direct relationship with somebody that is over weight, your chances of being over weight are like 80%.  If your friend knows someone who is over weight, your chances of being over weight are still 30%!!!  You have to be “twice removed” from an overweight person to be have normal risk.

The thing was, they don’t know why.  Top conjectures are of course “birds of a feather” and/or a person that is over weight tends to have eating habits that affect the weight of those close to them.

The cool thing though is that it is clustered in both directions.  So if I really take the bull by the horns and slim down, that creates a strong social impetus for those close to me to do the same.


March 4, 2010

Okay, time to fess up . . . I’ve been running a muck eating wise.

A favorite food “from the old days” was offered one meal, but somehow I just went off FFL . . . not completely, but there have been indiscretions every day since.  (Including a Candy Bar, M&Ms and a Sprite).

There is like this little part of me that just wants to sabatage this whole Frank Light process.  I’ve gotten to a certain point, and for some reason it is almost like there is a part of me that is afraid to succeed beyond where I am.

I’ve been working with this during SEs . . . in reviewing my lack of logging here, it also occurred to me that I have droppped doing CKT.  I can still make my commitment to four this week, but only if I do it EVERY DAY.

Light to all of that . . . and to picking up the peices and getting myself back on track.

Update of Methods

February 20, 2010

I was doing a process last night in DSS class.

It came forward to increase my commitment to CKT from 5 Minutes three times a week to 10 Minutes four times a week.

Intellectually I think this is probably a good move.  I do have some trepidation with it though since CKT has not been my strong point in this process.  It will take focus and determination to keep to this new commitment.

This new commitment will be effective for the week starting Monday 2/22/2010.

Daily Report 2010/02/16

February 17, 2010

I ran amuck today . . . I’m not sure why, but I choose to have a candy bar.  Breakfast and lunch were fine (fruit and salad), but as the day wore on I just started eating strange stuff . . . sigh . . . another day tomorrow.

Exercise: 24 Hour Fitness (242 Unofficial Scale)

Thoughts: I was thinking about the time when I first started this program and was having such great sucess and how that differs from my current platue.  It occurred to me that one thing I was doing back then was making sure to wait 2 hours after each time I ate (big or small) before I ate again.  At this point in time, I’ve shorted that to 1 hour for the carb/protien transition AND I don’t do it at all if I am eating the same thing (like carbs and then more carbs).

I’m wondering if the two hours isn’t useful for two reason:

1. It delays the next meal

2. It means that the last meal is completely digested . . . instead of having “more of the same” dumped into the half digested mix.  The FFL of course stresses how important this is if moving from carbs to protien (or visa versa), but perhaps it is important generally as well.

So . . . I’m going to move back toward that methodology and see if my can move off my current set point.

Love and Light to all who read this.